CHOICES: DANIELLE, PT. II

Our writing topic this month got us both thinking about what choices we would like to actively be making in our lives, and we thought we'd each share a few here. Choices are a bit like instantly gratified goals - once you make a choice, you've won. You've done the hard part. And you just continue making the choice.

These are just a couple things I've been working on lately.

just go to bed. sleep. sleep. sleep.

Too many of my nights turn into early mornings, seemingly without warning. Suddenly it's 1am and I feel like I've got miles to go before finally tossing & turning myself to sleep, fighting clouds of jumbled thought. And I love sleep. It's a blissful third dimension in which nothing goes wrong & our bodies right themselves & our minds work themselves into a bit of clarity - it's magic as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, I can always thinks of a million things I need to do before going to bed, or will watch Netflix until I can barely keep my eyes open. Sleep is usually an afterthought, and I'm realizing it needs to be a priority. It's a strange transition, and I feel a little like an old lady when I get in bed before 11, but I'm also loving it. I've been setting aside my laptop & projects earlier, letting go of what didn't get done, and spending my evenings instead focusing on small rituals like journaling, meditating & stretching. 

(I'm loving the headspace app for meditating, by the way.)

Stop at a new coffee shop, restaurant, museum, or shop I haven't been to. Do one of the DIY crafts/projects, or make one of the recipes I've pinned recently. Even if it's something small, it makes me feel great. I get stuck in ruts easily, and pushing myself out of them is difficult. I need little things to shake up days otherwise filled with office work and commuting. I'm finding meeting a goal of doing something new each week to be simple & fulfilling. I keep a running list of things I'd like to do, places I'd like to try - which in turn fulfills my love of lists ;)

This has been a struggle for me for a long long time. In my relationships, I become the caregiver. The memory keeper. The hopeful. I'm the one hanging on. Sometimes you just need to let go. It's okay to leave behind relationships you're no longer being fulfilled by. Sometimes friendships become toxic. Sometimes you just become two different people. Sometimes you can't accept anymore apologies. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from harm's way. And when you do, you can choose to remember the happy parts of those relationships. Because the best part of our relationships is the love that existed at some point in them, and it allows us to remember the happy pieces. It allows us to remember, and we have to allow ourselves the grace to walk away with the memories we're allowed. I'm reminding myself of this daily, and working on strengthening the relationships I have with people I wouldn't want to live without. 

I absolutely love to read. I would rather read a good book in bed all day than do most anything else. The problem is, I binge read. I go weeks at a time with nothing to read, and suddenly I pick up or am gifted several books...And I read one a day until 4 days later, I'm left with my head swimming in plots and characters, and am suddenly, terribly lonely. And then I realize I've neglected my life for a few days, and become too busy once again.

I've always admired the people who are always reading something. I've just never been one of them. I can't fight the urge to finish a book as quickly as possible (there are things one must find out!). But I'd like to give a slower pace a try. I think it'll fit my busy days better, to set aside half an hour or however long I have to just read, daily. I've made a list (one for everything, really) of books I'd like to read, and I'm planning on getting my Raleigh library card next week!